One For The Money: "We Got This God Cop/Bad Cop Thing Going On; Except We're Hookers"

Director: Julie Anne Robinson
Writer:    Liz Brixius
               Stacy Sherman
               Karen Ray
Starring: Katherine Heigl
               Jason O'Mara
               Daniel Sunjata
               Sherri Shepherd
               John Leguizamo
               Debbie Reynolds
               Debra Monk
               Louis Mustillo
Rating:    *

Release Date: Out Now 

Katherine Heigl...What can I possibly say about that woman; she had a brilliant job on a successful TV show, got two big for her boots, quit the popular TV show, and now she produces crud like this film. After the success of Knocked Up, I think she assumed that she would become a huge Hollywood movie star, but unfortunately for her, her lack of charm has yet again let her down, and after burning all bridges over at Grey's Anatomy she no longer has a fall-back. 

Stephanie Plum (Heigl), is a recently unemployed woman living in Newark, New Jersey, who in her desperation decides to work for her cousin Vinnie as a bounty hunter. Vinnie’s most valuable criminal is Joe Morelli (O’Mara), and he just happens to be a man Stephanie slept with as a teenager, who dumped her soon after they played bump-bump. She sees this as her chance for revenge and chases her former lover down, of course she soon finds herself conflicted once she realises that Joe might be innocent of the murder it is claimed he committed.

Right from the word go the film is really quite shoddy, the lazy, unoriginal use of voiceover narration is thoroughly uninspired, spoon-feeding us any details the writers couldn’t be bothered to actually tell us through the narrative. Along with the poor writing we are treated to some really awful New Jersey accents, Heigl being the biggest culprit. She seems completely incapable of keeping the accent up (although not as bad as Anne Hathaway in One Day), constantly switching between accents without much consideration. We’re meant to be rooting for this sassy, silly woman as she chases down her former lover for a huge amount of cash, but her actions ultimately come across as creepy; so creepy in fact, that more than one character refers to her weirdness directly to her face.

The film, which is a comedy, is simply not funny. The gags we're offered almost always flat, and the rest are spoilt by the script’s own lack of confidence; a visual gag in a shooting range, for example, is completely ruined because the script literally explains the joke to us almost half a minute after it’s already clicked. The only sources of comedy I found, and the main reason for the 1 star, were Stephanie’s grandmother (Reynolds), a senile but spunky old woman who simply does not appear enough throughout the movie, and Lula (Shepherd) a sassy hooker who I could not get enough of. The film really tries it's hardest to make light of the sexual tension between Steph and Joe, unfortunately it falls flat due to the complete lack of chemistry between the pair and the stale screenplay.

Even removing the comedy, the dramatic and thriller elements can’t muster the least bit of suspense; Steph comes up with the genius scheme of stealing Joe’s car, so that when he comes searching for it, she can catch him. The only thing more insulting than this plan is that Joe pretty much falls for it, and when the big bad Jimmy Alpha (Leguizamo) finally has the pair in his control, he ends up explaining his entire evil plot to them, like an over the top Bond villain. What's worse is, it’s all shoved onto the screen without a single sense of self-awareness, and concludes with a overly cliched happy ending in which even things you don’t even care about are tied up nice and sweetly.

The film is bound to annoy nearly every single type of cinema goer, as One for the Money is a typical, mind-numbingly stupid film which can’t even drag up some basic sexual tension to make the whole thing even mildly worthwhile. Heigl is becoming more insufferable with every role she takes on, and with this one, she completely out does herself. Ultimately, it’s further proof that Katherine Heigl picks her projects by stapling all potential scripts to a wall and throwing a dart. It is a pointless, stale and uninspired movie that has only been made for the money, which is ironic considering the film's title.

One For The Money - Trailer