That's My Boy: "You Were Basically The Worst Parent Ever"

Director: Sean Anders
Writer:    David Caspe
Starring: Adam Sandler
               Andy Samberg
               Leighton Meester
               Milo Ventimiglia
               Vanilla Ice
               Will Forte
               Rachel Dratch
               Ciara
               Eva Amurri Martino
               Susan Sarandon
Rating:    *

Release Date: 07/09/12

Each time a new Adam Sandler film is announced I always get this hope in the pit of my stomach, a hope that maybe, just once, he will turn a new leaf and produce something that is actually, well...funny!!! Now it is yet to happen (I mean did you see Jack & Jill), but maybe That's My Boy will achieve a laugh or two; I can now reveal to you, my beautiful readers, that absolutely nothing about this film is even remotely entertaining. The characters are trite and one-dimensional, he uses that ridiculous voice again, and the subject matter for the 'comedy' is inappropriate and offensive; and not even in a good way.

Adam Sandler & Andy Samberg

It's 1984, and Donny Berger is a pre-pubescent teen just looking to have a tiny bit of sex. He, like many other school boys, has a little crush on one of his teachers, Ms. Mary McGarricle (Martino). She is his young, sexy and strict Math teacher who he clearly has no chance with (well not in reality anyway), but all of a sudden she starts to make her move and starts a deeply disturbed relationship with him...yep, this film is a comedy about paedophilia, statutory rape and, later on, a touch of incest. Thanks to their perverted relationship Mary gets sent to jail heavily pregnant with their son; the son, stupidly named Han Solo, that Donny gains custody of and soon after begins to destroy the life of.

Cut to present day where Donny (Sandler) is now a washed up celebrity with an irritating voice and not a penny to his name. With debts mounting, Donny pays a visit to an old TV exec friend, who presents the idea of a reality TV event; this event would see the famous school boy lothario reunite with his jail bird lover and long lost son. This is where hilarity is supposed to ensue...it doesn't, for your information. On his quest to find and reconcile with his estranged son, now known as Todd (Samberg), Donny almost alienates himself more and nearly destroys Todd's wedding to uptight Jamie (Meester). Of course it all ends happily in a rushed, and sickly sweet ending; even after Donny, Todd and Mary's (Sarandon) attempt to come back together nearly goes belly up.

Leighton Meester

I'm really not going to go on for ages about this film, because I think honestly there is nothing I could say that would be even remotely positive...and it is just fa to hot at this moment in time to be overly negative. The cast really lack chemistry, which for acting is just kind of essential to make a film believable; but also in comedy if the actors don't feel natural and relaxed with each other then the comedy won't, hindering the laughs. 

The whole set up is awkward and uncomfortable to watch, even trying to cash in on the success of other wedding based movies (The Hangover, Bridesmaids) hasn't helped Sandler out of this pickle. Probably one of the more astoundingly uncomfortable moments is the very beginning, when we are forced to watch a grown, adult woman actually seduce a genuine young teen. We see her undress herself, hang out half naked in a hot tub and in one terrible scene the pair naked behind a table together...I mean what the actual fudge, right?!

Susan Sarandon

I just think it is really about time that Adam Sandler decided to stop producing films, or get a new team around him, because his good years have clearly passed by. In the last 10 years, his films have gone aggressively down hill (except for Grown Ups and Just Go With It, but the other cast saved him there), and I really don't see there being a cure for his lack of funny. He has resorted to using offensive jokes and material, your typical swearing child/granny, and that annoying god damn voice in every film he makes/stars in; a clear sign he has officially run out of ideas. If I thought there was even the smallest glimmer of hope for his career I might have been slightly more positive; but I don't think there is, so I won't.

That's My Boy - Red Band Trailer